London, Gordon Square, July 1997. 

A big black crow dude caught or found something and was holding it in his beak. It immediately caught the attention of the casually-strolling-by lady crow. Whatever that thing was, apparently it was very appetizing from a crow perspective. 

 

She speedily skipped toward him and stared in his right eye. Hey, I am here, give me some of that thing! He lazily turned his head to the left. She hopped around and gave a stare into his left eye – one needs to get into both eyes, to be sure. He slowly turned his head to the right. She came closer and opened her mouth wide, right in his face. Give me some of that thing!!! He wouldn’t budge.

 

She seemed to lose patience and jumped up, trying to bite off a piece. The dude seemed to be mildly amused. Whenever she tried to snatch his prize on either side, he just kept slightly bending his head to the opposite side. He was too big and tall for her to succeed. After a few jumps she decided to stop wasting energy (crows are very smart birds, after all). 

 

She pondered for about ten seconds. And went to her last resort. Whether that thing in his beak was really worth it or the dude grew on her, who knows. But she turned around, sat down in front of him in curtsy, and spread her wings. Take me, I am yours! 

 

The dude looked at her with his right eye and seemed to consider the offer. For about a minute. She held her position without moving. And then… he quietly took one step to the side. Then another step. And flew away!

 

She didn’t know he was gone and kept waiting for a while. My college bestie and I (who got distracted from our studies by this scene) genuinely felt crushed for her. The pain of rejection! We expected a cry of despair and wondered if there was a crow heartbreak hotline we could call.

 

But then the unthinkable (for us 20-something humans, I mean) happened.  When she finally turned her head and saw no dude, she sprung back on her feet, shook herself off, and started hopping gaily towards the neighboring lawn as if what we just observed never took place. Without a single therapy session! The gal didn’t lose her confidence even for a second.  

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Since then, whenever I feel down, I try to go out and watch the crows. These funny, intelligent, and sassy creatures can teach us humans a lot.

Look, one of those swanky ladies is managing my brand, and she is doing a hell of a job, I must say. Please, be nice to her.